I’m sure you have found yourself in a tricky conversation where you find yourself the subject of someone else’s jealousy or a wave of jealously washing over you- often unexpectedly. Someone you know has something or an experience you wished for- or vice versa.
Since becoming a Mama, I have realised the subtle presence of jealousy involved in the sharing of birth stories. Mostly, there is a culture of trying to express the unbelievable pain suffered and a shared bonding through this negative experience. However, I have also experienced birth story jealously that makes me deeply sad.
We learnt Hypnobirthing techniques to use calm breathing and eliminate fear which supported us to have the most amazing experience. Seriously, I couldn’t have asked for any more!
Established labour was six hours, no pain relief, low lighting, fairy lights, beautiful music, and a water birth in our NHS midwife lead unit. I can honestly say I enjoyed our birth and I know how lucky we are to have had an uncomplicated pregnancy and low-risk birth. Of course, Hypnobirthing is the training of the mind not to fear birth and therefore it allows you to relax, manage any feeling of pain and change your perception of the sensations of birth. It is a philosophy.
Choosing to Share
At first, I was a little shy to share my story. I had heard so many women share horrendous birth stories that I didn’t want to diminish their experience and make them feel as though I was the new mum coming in with a ‘Ta daaa!’ and my shiny new calm birth story.
However, I quickly came to the conclusion that whilst I was allowing other women to share and bond over painful memories, I wanted to bring positivity to the birthing conversation. I wanted them to add to the end of their story…’But I do know a Mama who actually enjoyed her birth!’.
So I started sharing! Most people have been genuinely pleased for us, some look at me with disbelief, while so many have looked genuinely sad. They wished they could have had this experience too.
It’s amazing when people are so genuinely pleased for you and I love the non-believers who are true to their own experience and belief system but the ones who look sad break my heart. I wish each and every Mama could feel satisfied with their birth story.
The teaching of Hypnobirthing doesn’t guarantee a birth as I experienced. It prepares you for every eventuality. It shows you how to be prepared for any twist and turn and to own it. Our bodies are amazing and through Hypnobirth preparation you are empowered- you know that you have choices and have control over your own birth story.
However, for those Mamas who didn’t know about Hypnobirthing, didn’t think it was for them or any other possibility- whatever you faced through birth, it is yours!
No one can take anything away from your birth whether that is the pain you felt, the emotions you experienced, the medical dramas or plans needing to be adapted, changed or dropped completely.
There is so much in life that is a comparison to others, especially in the age of social media, cars, houses, clothes, lifestyle but not birth! Mamas are amazing- we are amazing and we need to bask in each other’s birth journeys. Genuinely feel supportive pleasure at the achievements of each other and feel secure in the knowledge that we have our own story to tell.
Birth is Perfectly Unique
Each birth story is the beginning of our little people and the birth of new parents! The stories with happy endings are like fairy tales and we must remember that, although someone else’s experience may sound inviting, there are still many more people in our world who haven’t reached the happy ending of holding their baby in their arms at the end of the birth.
Many more still are waiting for a positive pregnancy test and their first glimpse of a fluttering baby heartbeat on a fuzzy scan screen.
Shine Bright with your birth stories and relive those precious first moments with your baby as often as you can! Own your birth story Mamas- you are the people living the fairy tale that to so many others is still just a dream.
Wherever you are at in your Motherhood journey, check out our gifts and accessories range in The Shine Bright Mama Shop!
Our clothing celebrates our philosophy of being a Mum through empowering words and designs that are simple and clean. Allowing the word you have chosen to shine through and enlighten as you wear, or use, our products!